To FOB or Not FOB – FOB Girls vs. Americanized Chinese Girls

FOB girls vs. Americanized Chinese girls.

I think it’s hilarious when I see Japanese porn with Chinese subtitles. You see a girl moaning “OOoooOOOooo” and it’s translated in Chinese with some actual verbiage like “你好大哦”。 I’d love to see which dictionary they pulled that translation from. Anyway, one thing that I love about the US is its melting pot of talent, and it’s not just talent, but all aspects of culture. I get this feeling that the Chinese impression of the world is very much a 井底之蛙 mentality, where what they think is real actually deviates quite a bit from reality. For example, Chinese people (like my aunt) love Korean dramas and have all these predispositions about how Korean girls are, but if you ask them if they’ve ever met or know a Korean person, the answer is usually no. I guess this is just a human characteristic, and probably happens everywhere. We tend to pass judgments based on something we think we know. Regardless, back to my point that growing up in the US and being familiar with western “dating rituals” allowed me to fully explore the breath of diversity that is women (or at least Asian women). Chinese parents are a lot more tolerant these days when it comes to dating, but let’s assume that they crack the bamboo whip and will only bless a marriage with a Chinese girl. Being the filial son that I am, I’m stuck with basically two categories of Chinese girls: Westernized or FOB.

Let me start out with what I like. Picture Sloan from Entourage, never mind the obvious physical endowments, but personality wise, she’s intelligent, has a sense of humor, adventurous and independent (until in season eight you find out that she gets a 200K monthly allowance, but by this point I’m already smitten). I love a girl you can take home to mama, but will get down in the back of a rental car. Does that resonate with you of a FOB girl? It’s a “no” based on my experience. And maybe I’m not looking in the right places in China, but a good majority of the mainland local girls do not reflect the characteristics I just described. But I mean, why should they, right? I grew up in America, I have American standards, and of course, I’ll be more attracted to Americanized girls. But I also have a lot of friends who grew up in the States, but have this natural affinity for FOB girls. With the recent newfound wealth of Chinese parents, and the influx of exchange students outwards to US universities, this line of Americanized vs FOB is not only getting contrast in a more diverse China, but the starkness can be seen in the US as well (culture and reverse culture shock I guess). So which one is more attractive?

Let’s run through an example. You’re in your late-20s and looking for something fun, but potentially serious if it’s the right girl. If you’re in Beijing you go to Vics, which has a decent mix of local girls as well as expats and exchange students alike. Similarly, if you’re in say LA and you hit up Exchange on a Saturday night, there’s a very good mix of ABC’s and fresh immigrants from China. There are some key similarities and differences, albeit stereotypes, that characterize the two groups of girls.

A few observations:

  1. Americanized Chinese girls generally handle their alcohol better, especially with cocktails being a recent introduction to mainland China. Most of the FOB girls I see handle alcohol (tequila, vodka, whiskey or baijiu) very poorly (unless these are Purple Crystal KTV girls).
  2. Americanized Chinese girls generally dance better than FOBs, unless these FOB girls took special attention to Korean music videos.
  3. Most Americanized Chinese girls are more demanding of men being men, having balls to make the first move, etc. and more open to a conversation with a stranger. I think this level of interaction in China is still met with caution. I think a lot of fob girls don’t mind that their guys are more feminine, although this one is debatable. Your typical male pop-star icons in China don’t necessarily personify masculinity.
  4. I know I’m going to get flamed for this one, but I feel like a lot of FOB girls are looking for a BF all the time. I’ve seen examples where if you hook up (ONS, make-out, etc) with a FOB girl, her automatic response is that you have to be her new BF. Not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, but a mere observation. Maybe it’s the green card effect. In contrast, I feel Americanized girls are more open to flings and dating, even if it’s with more than one guy at a time.
  5. FOB girls don’t tend to shave or groom, down there. We need to change this.
  6. Americanized girls are more flirtatious and have more sass (and maybe ass, which is what I’m sure you saw when you first glanced over).

Am I saying you’re not going to find that confident sassy girl from China? You probably will, but you sure as hell are going to have to look harder. And what about FOB guys? What kind of girls do they like? My guess is that they would find Americanized girls a handful. So to really sum things up, it’s a matter of Chinese girls these days being traditional v.s. modern, Confucius v.s. progressive, but you cannot deny that there is a definite bias of FOB girls at one end of the spectrum and westernized girls in the other. And yes ladies, keeping it clean down there is the progressive thing to do. In terms of levels of attractiveness, it was a trick question to begin with. I’m sure you already knew that neither I, nor anyone else, can come up with a solid argument for one or the other. After all, this isn’t a debate, and feel free to add to my list of observations. But remember, if you don’t see a repeating occurrence, it doesn’t count. One slutty white girl doesn’t make all white girls slutty. If half of your school’s white girls have STDs, then you get the point (I wanted to throw in a racist joke but decided not to).

These are just my 井底之蛙 shallow views of the two types of Chinese girls. I didn’t want to go into personality traits or do a psychoanalysis because A) I’m not qualified and B) there really isn’t a fit all when it comes to how women think or act (for instance to say FOB girls are more submissive). I think at the end of the day, you really want someone special, someone that doesn’t conform to standards or trends or the center part of a bell curve. At the risk of sounding like a cliché, beauty is after all, in the eye of the beholder. But in this increasingly superficial world of ours where life gets faster and faster, we tend to forget the wise adage that beauty is only skin deep. It’s nobody’s fault and it’s okay because even though many say, beauty or attraction to a person is only half the battle in a relationship, it is still half the battle so I believe one must lust to love. As for me, my lust often points towards South Korea or Taiwan. They got that thing down, but that’s another conversation for another day.

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